swimming thoughts

I’ve been aiming to make time to sit on my couch, hearing the clock ticking, pugs snoring, keyboard clicking, putting thoughts into a blog.

Since August, the big swim across the lake, and the week off afterwards, I’ve been playing catch up at work.  My hairstyling business was closed most of the year, and then of course I was busy swimming…so it’s been really nice to connect with my clients, my friends and family now.

I am so grateful for having such a supportive network around me.

I’ve been hearing so many wonderful stories, about how the swim and the journey leading up to it, has inspired so many people.  People that I didn’t realize were watching, or paying any attention.  

Aside from working…I’ve continued to swim at the pool, and I’ve gotten back into a solid strength training program.  I’ve noticed that the swim training I’m doing now is so different, compared to what I had been doing all year. Not just the differences in strokes, speed and intervals, but the mindset that comes with each kind of swim practice.

I miss the variations of conditions.  I miss the uncertainty of the lake…will it be warm, cold? Wavy, calm?

I am grateful for the convenience of the pool. The team aspect, swimming with others and interval training.

But I miss the long swims, the process…the time it takes to slide into a rhythm by keeping a steady, repetitive, consistent pace.  I miss going out and back.  And the time I was spending with my mom on the water.

I do often feel a little sad when summer comes to an end…It’s a while before its back again.  But this summer it feels more that way than it ever has.

Is it weird, that I felt sad taking the sparkly nail polish off my toes yesterday?  The polish I had done specifically for my Lake Ontario swim?

Saying bye to the little reminders of a summer that was so incredible.

I was at Port Stanley a few weeks after my swim, and I had funny feelings.  Part of me was feeling relaxed.  I could be there with my family, without feeling like I had to take off for hours to swim.  But part of me was missing it.  I looked over the water thinking how much time I had spent here, how this place had taught me so much over the year.  The things I have thought about while swimming, learning about myself and making new friendships.  Making new connections with people, just talking about the upcoming swim.  And learning to trust and give over some control to my crew…the people who were alongside me while I swam for hours, and day long adventures.

Swimming with Jackie.

So, I was so happy to get outside into the water this past Sunday.  I had signed up for a 10km race at the Flat water centre in the Welland Canal.

Vanessa, Crissy and I at the Open Water Swim event in Welland September 12th

Just in 2019, I had done the 5km swim at this same event.  I remember thinking, wow, maybe one day I could do the 10km swim, it just seems soo far.  I also recall being on the last 2.5km loop of my 5k swim that day and thinking how long it was taking, and just counting down til I could finish, and not because I wasn’t enjoying it.  5km of swimming takes more than an hour, and most of my workouts at that time didn’t often exceed 60 minutes.  It was unexplored territory.

The Welland Canal.

This past Sunday, I noticed how much calmer my mind was going into this 3 hour swim.

I barely even gave it thought, the days leading up to the race.  I knew I was physically able to do it, it was just a matter of putting in the time.  

When the race began, the 5km swimmers and 10km swimmers took off together.  5k swimmers were doing 2, 2.5km loops, and the 10km swimmers doing 4 loops. 

The first loop was the usual finding your spot in the flurry of the beginning of the race…and by the second loop, about an hour in, I got into that rhythm I speak about.

For me, this rhythm is when breathing becomes easy and effortless.  My mind quiets down and I stop thinking about where I might be in the race. There is a sense of letting go of expectations and just honing in to the moments unfolding. The focus turns to the present moment.  Turning to breathe, reaching forward to grab the water and propel forwards.  Travelling a kilometre down the canal before making a left turn.  

It was a long swim I was craving.  I always find the first hour of a long swim, the mind is busy and when it calms, there is clarity.  

One thing that did pop up in my mind during the race, was how I feel that I am in the right place right now, and working towards the right thing.

Sharing my journey with others, and being an advocate for organ donation has changed my life.  

I think that to not follow this calling, would be passing up the opportunity for personal growth, but even bigger than that, I think it would be saying no to helping others, where I know I can make a difference.

So with that said, I’ve been looking into doing Toastmasters.  For those who don’t know, this is a program where you learn leadership skills, through public speaking, and learning how to put presentations together.

 It scares me, and I think that is why I should do it.  Putting this in writing or telling someone my goals makes it more real.  It’s not just a thought in my own head, it’s now being put into action.

I believe that by working on my skills to better communicate and capture the attention of my audience, will help my message reach more people. 

I am a bit nervous, but excited at the idea of speaking more clearly and confidently in a group or public setting.

What have you done, that scared you?  And have come out the other side feeling more confident or accomplished?

…The 10km race was a success. Just what I needed at the end of the summer…one last “big swim” to top off one of the best summers I’ve had in a long time.

Finished the race in third place, Vanessa second, and guy in wetsuit in first place.

I do think life should be fun and enjoyable…but I also totally see the value in getting uncomfortable.  Making things a bit challenging for yourself is where the growth happens.  This is where we learn, and its honestly how I motivate myself.  I am not motivated by thinking about doing something, but by starting something different where there is room to improve and move forward.

So, let me know if you want to join me this winter…  I have registered for a “polar bear challenge”, to keep connected with nature through the colder months.  Last winter I embraced the conditions, and I enjoyed it more than I ever have before.  

This winter I will be heading to the lake at least once a week through November to March, and getting in the water.  Dip, or swim…whatever makes you cringe, come and try it out.

You might surprise yourself at what you’re capable of…maybe you’ll even enjoy it.

Winter swimming. Mental training. Photo by Kyle Grayson